The Return Of Napolean Dynamite
by Stephen 'Arion' Downey
Summary: make your own assumptions cuz i aint good at it
1. Chapter 1

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The Return of Napolean Dynamite

Prologue

…And, as Teal'c walked away, Napolean lay bleeding to death, the System Lord, Dark Lord Anubbus, in his brand new Mother Ship that he stole from the Asguard (the Jack O'Neil) came down from the Heaven's and started blasting the towns nearby…


	2. The End Of Napolean

Chapter 1-- The End of Napolean

…After the first blats of Anubbus, Napolean asked one thing from Teal'c.

"Teal'c? Te- tell…tell my… my grandmother…I…I…love her… and… tell... her…I…can't feed…Tina the Fat Lard…any-" he starts taking his last coughing fits before he dies, "more…" He coughs up blood. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a Hickory Smoked Ham, and hands it to Teal'c. "Give…give this to…Gram…tell her…to feed Tina the Fat Lard for me…one…last…tim-" Napolean gave one last Cough of Death and died.

"I will do as you asked, my friend. May you rest in peace, and may your Spirit go to the Halls of your Forefather's."

Teal'c could hear the blasts of Anubbus' Mother Ship, even at a distance of two-hundred miles away from where Napolean died, and he can see Anubbus' Ship.

He knocked on Napolean's Gram's door with the butt of his Blast Staff. He heard a small shuffle behind the door, and a small squeak of a floorboard.

Wh-who's there?" asked a small squeaky voice. Another shuffle and squeak of a floorboard.

"The one who has a message from a loved one, my lady!" said Teal'c.

The door opened up, just a crack. As soon as she saw tha Jafa signia on his forehead, she tried to close the door, but he slammed his Blast Staff in the door so she would not be able to shut the door.

"Please, do not fear me. I am not one of them. Well, I once was, but I betrayed them to Earth. They are now my Enemy! They use humans as slaves to their will! So, please, do not fear me! I come on behalf of one named as Napolean Dynamite. He is dead; but before he died, he told me to tell you: He loves you, and feed Tina for him one last time," as he said this, he pulled a ham out of his pocket. "Here. He said to give this to Tina the Fat Lard."

As Teal'c is walking away, he hears this _VRRRR! BOOM! _He Turned around and saw a Death Glider flying back up to Anubbus' Ship.


	3. The Return Of Napolean

Chapter 2-- The Return of Napolean

It had been a month since Anubbus' attack on Earth. Napolean has just started waking up after he had been found, stored in one of Anubbus' Sarcophagi, and his life being spared by the System Lord's right hand man, Braitac.

Upon awakening, he could hear several noises at once: Blaster Guns going off, several Jafa, human slaves with a Symbiote (a kind of snake, crawling inside of your head near your brain) yelling and shouting orders to one another.

He tried to sit up, but there was a resistance. He looked at it and found out that he was in a crate or something of the kind, or something similar to it, for it was made of stone. He starts to panic, slams his head against the top of the box, and knocks himself out.

About half an hour later, he woke to find himself in on of the cells with a Sarcophagi right next to him. He scrambles up and looks around him. He noticed that the lid of the Sarcophagi was open, so he figured that someone was in there to get him out of the Sarcophagi. The door of his cell opened. There stood a Jafa, all clad in its proper uniform.

"Lord Anubbus wants to see you! Immediately!" he said in a distorted voice.

It, turns out, as it seems, that Napolean was a secret double spy for both sides of the universe: the Good Side; and the Bad side, a. k. a. the Jafa. He knew every single code to get to other planets, so he betrayed Earth to Anubbus.

It only took them less then 10 minutes to reach Anubbus' bridge. Anubbus was standing there, looking out over Earth, in his dark velvet robe that he uses as his shield against Blast Staffs or human weaponry. As they approached him, he turned around and Napolean saw that Anubbus didn't even have a recognizable face from the last time Anubbus and him met.

"Kneel before your God!" said the Jafa that brought Napolean. He hit Napolean's legs with his Staff, and Napolean fell on his knees.

"So, it was you! I should've known that you were the one that got yourself in that ridiculous position!" yelled Anubbus. "You are the most clumsiest Jafa in my service! You will learn your place when you go through my training! Braitac! Show him the… Jafa Challenge!"

The End…For Now!


End file.
